Immoral Riches vs. The People of Shizuoka

2006-12-03T16:45:00.000-08:00

I booked this wednesday off work to go to Hakone. Its a place in the mountains with hotsprings and freshwater lakes. and apperntly stunning views of mt. fuji. So im going with Kanae. It should be really relaxing. Im realizing that im becomeing an old japanese man. I enjoy Kabuki and hot springs and i only every see old me there. oh well.

anyway here are some photos from halloween. I was a japanese radish. I plan to goskiing in Nagano for the winter break wearing that costume. it was a little embarrassing. lots of japanese people were touching my fatness. but i guess i was asking for it by wearing a skin tight costume. my costume won second prize (it was a coffee maker) i lost to cpt. Jack sparrow. real original.

2006-11-22T03:19:00.000-08:00

im trying to save money and the best method i could come up with was buying a bottle of jonny walker and sit at home drinking it. i have 24 also. and my new new room mate is here. With this new new guy i have come to grips with an element of myself. the part of me that can not tollerate liveing with other people. I liked it before when i was expierencing Kanashibari. sure ghosts are creepy but they stay out of the way in the daylight hours. and they dont eat all my food. nor do they use my computer in my room while im out at work. honestly i dont know which is more creepy.

Now i wasent posting for a while because i know some people around here read my blog. and i didnt like the idea of them reading. but i dont think it matters so i will just come right out and offend everyone. so if you live in shizuoka or you work for NOVA and you read this but you dont tell me that you do I think you're a perv. of course i dont mean you Daniel. get well soon.

mike.

2006-11-21T15:24:00.000-08:00

im going to work now its 8:30 in the morning. there is a cold breeze outside but my heater is on inside. my tatami room windows are full of fog.
Yesterday at the bath house was great. I tried a bath that was like a giant teacup. I sat soaking with a humungous teabag. it was cool.
Today is my monday so im not very happy at the idea of goinginto work, but i better get going.

2006-11-20T21:58:00.000-08:00

Im sitting in a hotspring right now, cooling form a 30 minute soak in spring water. Im trying to get the japanese on this keyboard to type so i can prove that im here. when kanae get out of the womans bath i will see if she can help me> but im starting to think i will head back to the onsen rooms> as you may or may not know japanese bath houses are a naked affair which im am growing to me very comfortable with. yes i enjoy sitting in large tubs with naked japanese men. this bathhouse is in the city so its much bussier than ones i have been to in the country side. theres nothing liek it at home. A public bath house seems very anchient world. like plato should jump out of one of the tubs. anyway we are here all day so i might post again later.

Im back

2006-10-01T23:33:00.000-07:00

alot has happened since my last post. I've visited home and returned to japan. I guess i should start at the beginning of my vacation. Kanae and I went to Tokyo for the day before my flight to Toronto. We went to the dolphin show in Shin agawa. but it was so busy that we had to watch from the underwater window. later we visited Robo robo Koen, this little park with like a hundred robots. It was awsome! I'll post pics once I sort out flickr again. My month of inactivity has erased all my auto-complete passwords and usernames so im a little lost at the moment in terms of posting pics. The most fun thing in tokyo this last trip was Disney sea. I turely felt like a kid. Ive never been to a proper theme park before.

Canada was a really relaxing time. The air is so much fresher there. Stirlings wedding was great ! I only wish i could have stayed longer. my wedding present from japan was Takoyakior octopus balls. people wernt so impressed by the idea. but it was cool to hagle for octopus in windsor. My students here always find that funny. It was even more funny listening to Corwin invite the brides maids to the hotel with the promis of all the octopus they can eat. It was a littel awkward but whatever. hey Corwin if you read this those cowboy bebop cds require some downloadable patch or somthing, i'll email you. Aurora was nice. It was so nice to see my family. Susanna is talking so much and was into everything. We went to the first anual aurora ribfest but it didnt amount to much. I was so happy to see everyone i could and im really sory i had to miss seeing some people.

Now that Im back Im feeling much better than before. I think I had these huge expectations when i first came to japan and i just spent a year being let down but now i know what its all about and am haveing a good time again.

just in the last few weeks since being back I've gone back to work, went swiming in the ocean and got stung by a jelly fish, and had a case of sleep paralysis, it was really interesting. but i'll post about that some othertime.

2006-07-30T03:05:00.000-07:00

Some of the people that come and teach here are trying to escape from relationships or other problems at home. Others are here to detox from various drug habits. I fall into the post-university “finding myself” category. I think at home I was a fairly accepting person. I hope Japan has pushed me to racism and its not the person that I “found” on this experience of self discovery. It might be japan because of the strong feeling that I don’t belong here that is imposed on foreigners. I can’t fucking take the staring anymore. Everyday I’m watched like an animal. On the train they look out of the corners of their eyes. They try to hide it but the fucking weasels cant help themselves. Or I’ll go into a yakitori restaurant and be greeted by every local nudging their friends to look at the Gaijin that just walked in. This has boiled over today because I tried to buy boots on my way home. It was a painfully simple metaphor for my situation. I said I’m size 12 American and they said its impossible. That size of boot doesn’t exist in Japan. The clerk said it and I didn’t care about the damn boot but it was just clear that I don’t belong here. He said it with the typical smile. Maybe its an attempt at being polite. But I can see in his face the thought: “you’re a crazy foreigner for even considering that we have your size.”

I just got a new American roommate. He is alright except for his general crassness. The first night I had to listen to him talk about the women he’s had sex with (includeing a story with a prostitute). His tales of sexual exploits were like trophies of achievement being waved in my face. But I’m being too harsh. He is a nice guy. He is very liberal which makes up for any disgusting stories he decides to tell me.

2006-07-18T07:19:00.000-07:00

Lately I’ve been sick with stress. The heat and humidity are pushing my physical tolerance to their limits. I have 4 or 5 knots in my neck. My stomach is like battery acid. I have to decide about what I’m doing here and I‘m dieing because of it. Some of these characters here remind me that I should have nothing to be stressed about. Or they tell me they all feel that way all the time and I should just take it. But that’s not very helpful. I’ve been afraid to write about it because I know that everyone at home especially my family will tell me to come back to Canada. I think I probably should go home but I fell like I would just find other kinds of stress. Little things are becoming huge decisions. I thought I would visit home in September and then decide how long I can go in Japan. But if I decide to go home for good in October coming back seems like a big waste. I can’t stop thinking about all the possibilities and I can’t relax because of it. But I feel better just writing it into the blog. Please write back.

Ghibli

2006-06-09T09:28:00.000-07:00

I went to the Studio Ghibli museum in Tokyo with Kanae last weekend. It was really nice. Its a relaxing place to visit. I was really excited about the Laputa robot on the roof. there is also a pic of me and one of the blocks from the floating city.

the other pics are of mochimune beach. We went there for a party last weekend. the night shot is my room mate rocking out while the old maids are stunned by his coolness below. I say old maids cus at maybe 9:30 I decided i wanted to jump in the ocean...so i did. i was in there for maybe 5 minutes and when I got out everyone but my room mate had decided to leave. no one said anything they all just left. when we saw them later on one of them even had the stones to give me shit for swiming. I didnt know it was against the fuck'n rules to swim at the beach. so anyway they are all now know as old maids.

So I didnt go crazy

2006-05-23T09:44:00.000-07:00

Dateing a japanese girl has been a standard series of Leave it to the Beev esque outings. A typical date will be dinner and a movie, or movie and then dinner; I switch it up sometimes. The best is haveing a picnic in the park. We did that on monday. The park in Fujieda has swan shapped paddle boats. but darn-it! it was raining that day so we couldnt get a boat.

all that aside shes great. her name is Kanae

she was showing me pressure points on my hand for stress and asked me to "pull her finger" so I explained what that Really means and can now get her to make rude noises on command.

so...thats what i've been up to. For all of you bugging me to post more.

Area Man Demands McDonalds "Class up their act"

2006-05-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

Residents of Shizuoka city were shocked today by the recent news that visiting canadian English instructor M Morris was displeased by lack of decorum at the Shizuoka station McDonalds franchise.

“I’ve stopped in that this McDonalds a few times” says Morris “But I never noticed the lacking atmosphere.”

The Franchise in question has prided itself on the addition of authentic black leather seating and all white dining rooms. “we are particularly proud of the rock garden feature” says the restaurant manger, “which includes a beautifully arranged fern and zen rock display, That I think sooths the customers while they enjoy their gourmet yet inexpensive meals.”

The recent hub bub was sparked when the restaurant in question added soft piano jazz to the music selection for the dinning room. “What is this a restaurant or a circus?” Quipped Morris. “When I partake in the pleasure of a creamy Bacon lettuce cheese burger, with its salty sting and confectionary sweetness, I want the music to complement the cuisine.” Morris went on to suggest that only the most epic of operas are suitable matches for the taste sensation that the McDonalds BLCB offers. “I’ve noticed the addition of realist art work in most franchises” says Morris “and it’s a step in the right direction. But, without appropriate music to please the ears how can I please my taste buds?”

McDonalds has made no statement on the future improvement of the Shizuoka franchise decorum.

2006-04-17T03:44:00.000-07:00

ok so I was watching homestar and my mind was blown when i realized for the first time Coach Z is Canadian. IS this old news for people because it just occured to me? also I took the online character test. the one that tells you which character you are. I was dreading the potential Strong Sad outcome. But it came up Strong Mad. SUCK IT McKever!

bored and a ukata

2006-04-10T05:35:00.000-07:00

I was really bored today so I unpacked my brand spak'n new ukata I got in kyoto. Also i discovered my timer on my camera.

Kinkaku-ji Temple

2006-04-06T20:44:00.000-07:00

The first pic makes this place look peaceful but the other two are more realistic. You can see the tree im standing infront of in the second pic from across the pond. this represents most of the tourist spots in kyoto. just crowded with people. Especially in the peak seasons like cherry blossom season and fall colours.

I was really impressed by Ryoan-ji. a zen garden thats maybe a 10 minute walk from the gold temple I went there last december too. These pics are of the same place. Maybe I'll go back in the summer also.

Kyoto

2006-04-05T08:49:00.000-07:00

2006-03-23T05:04:00.000-08:00

Cherry Blossom season

2006-03-20T21:34:00.000-08:00

Its cherry Blossom season. Maybe i will go back to kyoto to get some nice pics. but as it happens Shizuoka has some nice Cherry tree viewing of its own. In Ueno Park in tokyo you have to reserve your spot on the ground a month in advance. the mountains around my house have some nice trees so i just go there.

2006-03-16T21:11:00.000-08:00

its been a while so im just makeing a st patricks day post. Tonight im going to a japanese isakaiya for the standard nomihodai which means all you can drink for two hours for 20 dollars. its a nice deal. the food is good. Nothing new is happening. last week I went to Shimizu which has a nice beach that you can see mt fuji from. The sky was clear except around the mountain. meh. on monday i crashed on my bicycle and gashed my knee. there are hundreds of blind corners in this country. Im planning a trip back to kyoto in a few weeks. its cherry blossom season and i hope to get some really nice pics.

Happy st. patricks day

2006-02-23T07:34:00.000-08:00

I can't fuck'n believe it. its been 6 months. They say that after six months one of a few things will happen. either I will get so fed up that I'll go home; I'll get a japanese girlfriend; I'll move; or i'll just go from zero to thirty insane. thats the truth. people devlope mental problems here. After Korea I've had a stiff back. My special lady told me in december that I have knots in my back well those knots have devloped into a 24 hour tight left shoulder.
I have no plans to go home right now. I was just out at the bar and the other canadian mike told me that Its so easy to find a reason to come to japan but really hard to think of a reason to go back to canada. there has to be a purpose. Japanese girls are really annoying. the ones that want to be around gaijin do it because its trendy. the conversations are usually as follows. "do you like japan? Genki desu ka? I like snoppy or pooh bear(it varies)...do you like?"

I am waiting to move but that wont hapen for a while.

so i still have victor hugo they know me at the video store and im smokeing heaps.

2006-02-22T10:16:00.000-08:00

that was some good pizza. after I finished eating the homeless man sat in that very seat for like an hour and told me about how japan in changeing these days. And how shimizu is a city known for the al capone of japan who was also the frank sinatra of japan. and that people he meets in the middle of the night always tell the truth because he never askes for their names. People who dodnt give up their identity will share anything. he said that all japanese people are like this. on the surface they have to act like they all agree only because they are all in the public eye but underneath they all question the system. everyone says they hate Koizumi because he wanst to privatize the post office pecause its not like japan to welcome change but underneath (or so the homeless amn said) many japanese people liek the changes goign on. He also told me that All i have to do in Japan on say Kon banwa (good evening) and people will be all over me.

it was good pizza

Tokyo

2006-02-19T22:48:00.000-08:00

Tokyo

2006-02-18T15:25:00.000-08:00

Tokyo is not like the rest of Japan. Its your standard modern city. Everyone speaks English. And the people are aggressively friendly. So im sitting in Ueno park eating a pizza and a man who may or may not have been homeless strikes up a conversation with me. I say he may or may not have cus he spoke perfect English and was totally coherent. Not like the bums in Toronto who claim to be in possession of some text that defrauds Jesus’ crucifixition and gives them divine right as a holy templar and wont shut up while I’m trying to eat my damn muffin. No, these Japanese bums are very well behaved. Some students say that they are actually rich people who make the life choice to live with no possessions in the park. Which is strange to me but kind of cool. The particular guy would have maintained his credibility had he not told be that the crows in the park were trying to “get him” and that he needed the giant stick he was carrying to fight them off.
In Ginza I was in Yoshinoya, a Japanese fast-food joint, and this businessman struck up a conversation. His English was not so good but fortunately some other stranger could speak perfect English so the three of us got beers and yakitori on a whim. Strangely aggressively friendly.
Kabuki-za was great. I really enjoyed kabuki. But I got made fun of for liking it. Only old people like it here. But I say screw y’ss all. It was really good. I actually went twice. Once on Monday and then once more before I had to catch the shinkansen back to shizuoka. And my next trip will be to Kyoto to the grand kabuki.
Tokyo subway looks confusing but its no problem. The problem is once you leave the subway. I’ve attached a Escher drawing to clarify Tokyo’s labyrinth-esque design Im sure he was drawing this while in Tokyo. I will post more pics in the future. There was one station however that’s a bitch. Nagatacho station by the Imperial palace is a transfer point for like 6 lines . So I get off one line and look at the signs which tell me I have 755 meters to walk to the other line I’m looking for. That’s damn near a kilometer in the station alone.
One more things. Tokyo always looks crowded on tv and in movies. Its not. Only certain places. Shibuya and Shinjuku are. Ginza is not. Ginza was quite. But those other places are literally a non-stop river of people surging through narrow streets.

I’ll post more pics tomorrow.

2006-02-09T18:12:00.000-08:00

The governator wants YOU to drive fule-efficent automobiles

Battle Runner

2006-02-03T08:42:00.000-08:00

Studying katakana is starting to pay off. The Japanese language is divided between three systems of characters. Hiragana, which is a flowing brushstroke set of about 50 characters. This is used for much regular Japanese words. Katakana is an entirely different set of characters but have the same sound associated with them. Katakana is used solely for foreigner words. And the Japanese still use many Kanji or Chinese characters. The first two I have mastered but I won’t touch the Chinese characters. The achievement of my katakana study has been displayed in my deciphering of Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.

Terminator is actually spelt (phonetically) Ta-mi-ne-ta-a. but is pronounced terminator – Japanese pronunciation aside.

More interestingly The Running Man is not the running man at all but is know by the more thrilling title “Ba-to-ru Ra-n-na-a” or BATTLE RUNNER!

Cool ne?

2006-01-30T08:49:00.000-08:00

I was walking thru the grocery store and a faint odor of fish levitated from the counter. As I stood in the wafting aroma I was struck with a thought. It was an eye opening pang of a realization. This was not the first time - I knew that smell. It was the smell that permeates this country. That salty, fishy smell. During this trip to the grocery store I hadn’t noticed it before then, while I stood in front of the tuna steaks being laid out for the 6 o’clock rush. Nevertheless I knew this smell. It was the odor that greeted me when I first went to that department store. It was the same smell that washed over me when I walked out of the Kansai airport five months ago. Its not shocking that here again was that scent. It hadn’t gone anywhere. It was shocking that I had to strain my scenes to locate it. I stood there concentrating on this smell, struggling to remember the grocery store before the monotonous routine had wiped clean the strange foreign feeling and wrapped me in familiarity. It was the moment I was waiting for. The reason I came here with a job and didn’t bum around Europe with Australian backpackers. Its that moment when you see things differently than a tourist.
My first job at No Frills opened me to this experience. When you get a job at the local grocery store there comes a moment when the place that you go to by corn flakes changes in your eyes. I noticed this at No Frills. The initial overlaying glance that takes in the general look of a place is replaced with an intimate knowledge of every imperfection and detail. When you don’t have to think “where are the grapes” you just know.
So I’m in. Ive passed thru that wall between tourist and local - at least for Shizuoka.

Slashaganza

2006-01-28T15:11:00.000-08:00

I had a small horror movie slashaganza the other night because one of the other teachers was telling me about this zombie movie with prisoners or something. So I invited him and another teacher over for a horror movie night. I assumed he would bring this movie he was saying we should watch but he assumed I would rent something on my own. I live in the borough of suruga. There are no major video chains within a fifteen minute bike ride. There are lots of “independent” movie stores in the area. And well…to make a long story short I now have a membership at Kenta’s Nasty House. They have a small selection of regular movies and we were able to get “Demons 2.” I had seen it before but after a second viewing I rate it a C+, ok, not great. Entertaining of course. I find Zombies more believable than demons that can come out of the tv. Unless its social commentary or something.

2006-01-25T05:02:00.000-08:00

Also I ...ah.. made a space battle, in bitmap format. I made Paint my bitch.

2006-01-25T02:10:00.000-08:00

Thank you Laura for the great suggestion. my room mate just found some old sketch books in the apartment. So i went out a got a pencil. The fruits of my labour are as follows. ...

A rather merry looking robin hood ....

and my rendition of Spike Spiegel, hero of Cowboy Beebop.

Also a picture of Kakegawa jo, a small castle i visited last week due to boredom.

2006-01-21T15:52:00.000-08:00

Japan has its strong points but the main bad point I’m dealing with right now is the boredom and loneliness. Shizuoka is by no means a small city. It’s a great size…for people who speak Japanese. I’m lucky to have a good room mate (who is growing to love futurama as much as I do). But other than him I have no one to just chill with. The only friend I’ve made went home last month and now I have to cope with being alone. I think the key is having good hobbies. So send me hobby ideas and any emails they would all be much appreciated.

!!!!!

2006-01-18T08:23:00.000-08:00

Sweet Zombie Jesus !!!

Rumors that Futurama is comming back?

The Family Guy did well after it was shut down so now there is talk of bringing back that sweet show that nerds love to love.

2006-01-17T00:32:00.000-08:00

If you like that show by the buffy the vampire slayer guy with the cowboys in space you'ld like Cowboy bebop. This is like the most beautiful anime i've seen seen. and its just generally awsome. unfortunatly i cant find series episodes with english subtittles. its a bitch. nevertheless the show is cool. also Spirited Away is a fantastic movie. I just sent away for all but the two most recent Studio Gihibli films. Howls moveing castle was alright but I think you should all rent spirited away.

Korea

2006-01-12T05:11:00.000-08:00

what a dirty country. Roaches and rats. If there are two barber polls side by each it means you can get a trim with a happy ending. the robot in Busan was cool. Hanging out with danielle was cool. A korean man spat at our feet. DVD bongs are like little movie theatres. one couch and a big screen. highschool students go there to make out. the people were rude and loud. i was happy to get back to japan.

The night before my flight to Korea I had to go to Nagoya because it was an early flight. I didnt have a hotel booked i just figured i would bum around the station. when i got to Nagoya station i saw a couple of homeless guys curling up for the night. i thought i could just curl up with them. any way i found a place and had a good sleep. the next morning- 6 am- i went back the the station to catch the airport bus. when i got there the homeless man i was going to sleep next to was being taken away in an ambulance. he had frozen in the night. his face was grey and his hands were in a claw like position. when i told the my boss the story he said if i had curled up with him he might still be alive.

Anyway Korea was mostly dirty.

2006-01-11T22:36:00.000-08:00

Gaijin

2005-11-30T04:21:00.000-08:00

The word Gaijin literally means “outsider.” The concept of the “in” and “out” group permeates Japanese society. If there is ever a non-Japanese student at NOVA the first question sprung by everyone else is where they are from. I’ve met a girl from chin that has been living here for 8 years but still feels like an outsider.

I think it’s the geography that has shaped this way of thinking. Shizuoka city is cradled by mountains and a river. Any road or rail leaving the city has to pass thru a mountain. The same goes for the other cities in the area. I think the communities in Japan have grown with a tradition of isolation. Which of course strengthens a sense of the local community and spawns fear of the outside.

I was thinking this when I went for a ride across the Abakawa River this evening. Actually getting a feel for the geography changes my perspective of the city. The train reaches everywhere. It would be possible to live entirely within the local rail system. I work 4 towns over from Shizuoka but I forget that there is a lot of space between the two places. The train links the country very well. It feels like a teleporter or something. Shinkansen is even more bizarre. Its such a smooth ride. And it makes what should take 6 hours pass in two.

I’m going to Kyoto/Osaka next week. Pictures to come.

Pachinko

2005-11-28T00:50:00.000-08:00

Pachinko is good if you’re in a hurry to lose your money. 4000 yen in 15 minutes. Most students say this was not so bad. Pachinko is this game wherein you buy metal balls and fire them into a machine and watch them disappear. Your hard earned cash just flows away like sand in an hour glass. Only in this case it was quarter hour glass.

Pachinko is not gambling. Oh no. Gambling is illegal in Japan. But you wouldn’t know it by being here. There are pachinko slot machines too but like I said its not gambling. You buy the tokens or balls and you win chips back that can be used to collect a prize - like ski ball tickets. You can get air rifles or DVD players if you win big. Or you can trade all your tokens in for a special prize, a little plastic card that you can go home with. Or you can walk outside the pachinko parlor and take a brief walk around the corner or down the street and trade (* trade is the key word) this plastic card for money. No gambling here.

Lottery day is even more twisted and veiled in red tape and semantics. You’re not betting on numbers. It’s a vote see. You have a few numbers that you really really like. And of course you have a to buy a ticket to vote for your favorite numbers. Some people can sell these tickets back at huge interest.

Also popular in Japan are Horse racing, boat racing, motor races of all kinds. And again you vote on your favorite car. If that car is good you can collect a prize. Usually a cash prize. This is a ballot , its not gambling.

Anyway, the government always gets to wet its beak and the people can rest easy knowing they succumb to no vices.

culture shock takes a few months

2005-11-27T01:03:00.000-08:00

Im finding that Japan takes a while to really show its true differences. I know im changing because of it. some things that were just taboo at first are becoming apart of the way i feel too. For example, walking and eating, or eating food in the street just isnt done here. If you're seen eating while walking people look at you like you cant help your incessant lust for food - like you're a pig. at first i would say screw it but now i never do it and in actual fact im a little put out when i see some slob walking and eating. Just wait until you get home god damnit.

Another thing is mobile phones on the train. its really not allowed here. I saw some guy chewn out by an older Japanese man for useing his phone on the train. at the time i didnt see the problem and was a little shocked by the old man's anger. However, now I too am pissed if i hear some asshole's cell start ringing while im on the train. at least turn it on manner mode.

I started thinking this way today when i used a fork for the first time since i got here. its such an ugly tool and so sloppy. you shovel food with this heavy metal utensil. Ohashi are so much more elegant and percise.

some of you at home might read this and say im turning Japanese but i can tell you now that it will never happen. Gaijin are never fully accepted here. but thats for another post.

earth quake !

2005-11-20T04:40:00.000-08:00

there have been a few earth quakes since ive been in Japan. I usually sleep thru them. Today however I was awake and just bored enough to deduce the strange little feeling in the ground was a quake. I didnt realize all at once of course. I just thought my mind stroked off for a second from too much pasta for dinner. but then In the distance there was a soft rumble like a train but not a train. I watched the shinkansen coast by silently but this rumble was still going. like tunder but too regular and there was no storm. then i realized that my misplaced foot was an earth quake. it was like being a little drunk and stumbling a little. anyway. im still alive.

Kampai !

2005-11-10T02:41:00.000-08:00

Here's an E-kampai for Stirling and Julie; Dustin and Megan; Larissia and G smizzidy Smith if he'd just get his shit sorted. Get married already. Gawd!

Daidogei

2005-11-09T08:57:00.000-08:00

Last weekend was the international world cup in street performance, otherwise know as Daidogei. It was interesting but mostly for children and local business. Besides I was already at this thing in Waterloo only two months ago. It was all through the city. But the biggest events were held in Sumpu park. Inside the old castle I watched people juggle plates, spools and ah… really big plates. There were no fire eaters this year.

I had me some Croutcolague and crab juice from some Russian wearing a red vest and hat. Locals dressed as clowns are fucking scary. They clap eyes on a Gaijin and feel the need cartwheel over to offer a complementary red Styrofoam clown nose.

The Tweens were out in force. There was a pavilion dedicated to tween talent acts. Twelve year olds with little tiny guitars and too much styling gel acting like rock stars for their parents.

I think these pics sum up Japan nicely. You have your standard enthusiastic performer and your MacDonalds adjacent Shrine.

2005-11-09T08:27:00.000-08:00

When planning a trip to Japan beware of the incessant Genki-ness.

You all know what I mean: that sickly sweet, overenthusiastic happiness. Usually, in department stores and on TV and in restaurants and at school. Every store you go into your bombarded with a fervent “Irasshaimase!!” delivered with flourish. All it means is “welcome” but the passion they put into it makes me want to puke. As you walk thru the grocery store and new clerks become aware of your presence they too must belt out an “Irasshaimase!!” sometimes there’re clerks just saying it over and over again like its as natural as breathing. TV is the worst. Every channel has a genki, subservient Japanese girl in pig tails giggling like a school girl. Even the housewives, learning English, giggle like children.

No one can relax in this country.

Im developing a hatred for capris pants. They just want to show off their shit-kicker boots.

The two biggest business’ in this city are dry cleaners and hair stylists. There’s nothing more important than looking good.

Halloween

2005-11-01T22:06:00.000-08:00

The Halloween turn out, among others were as follows: The male and female forms of death, a bumble bee, the devil, Zombie Santa Claus, and a genki Japanese girl. The prize winning costume is not featured here. Blake won for his blow up doll costume. I will try to get a photo to post. Halloween is a Scottish festival, celebrated only there and in north America. I did not know this. Now I do and so do all of you. This picture was taken in the infamous Boozer. A gaijin bar. One of the cheaper places. Id say about on par with Toronto. Most Japanese bars have a sitting fee as well as grossly overpriced drinks. Typically you pay a base rate per person of about 35-40 dollars Canadian. This is for buffet food and drink. But they get pissed off if you try to get your moneys worth out of it. And o course all gaijin do. I’m not joking when I say that we drink their beer faster than they can bring it to us. They don’t like this. Karaoke is the same usually 3000 yen or 30 Canadian for two hours of karaoke. And since most bars are open all night you gotta go some where else after so a little more yen wasted away. At the end of the night you’re lucky if you haven’t spent ichi mon or a hundred dollars. I said as long as I break even after a year in Japan I’ll be happy but it will take all my strength.

Snow White

2005-10-20T19:25:00.000-07:00

Me and the teachers I work with were out at an Isakaya last Sunday. They have funny drink names here. We enjoyed asking for the Balalalika, but the hype from saying its name proved to be better than the drink itself. Two of the girls we were with ordered the Snow White. Of course me and the girl next to me started demanding the waitress start bringing the seven dwarfs. Japanese people are very willing to accommodate Gaijin. She looked at us in a confused way and then went off to get an English menu. There were no seven dwarfs so we decided a white wine and seven shots of Vodka count as a Snow white and the seven dwarfs.

typhoon

2005-10-20T19:14:00.000-07:00

The weather changes really quickly here. I watched a typhoon clear up in about 2 minutes. It was beautiful. One minute it was pissing rain it stopped abruptly I went out onto the balcony and watched the clouds melt away form the sky. As they disappeared the overcast rainy grey bleed into this gorgeous red in the picture. It would be a beautiful picture if Japan were not so covered in wires.

the post

2005-10-11T15:56:00.000-07:00

The mail works. I got two wonderful pieces of mail on the same day. I’m now the proud owner of an accurate representation of the hillside festival, which I appear to be conquering with my godzillesque stature. And I also received a letter all the way from Stuttgart. Mail is slow, but much appreciated. The postcard boasts about Cheero and Claudia’s plans to go to Oktoberfest in Munich. Which is exciting. Except one of my students left for Munich and came back a week before I got the post card. I guess I’m just spoiled by the information super highway. Nevertheless, a postcard is a cool think to get in the mail.

ATTENTION POSTCARD SEEKERS.

I’ve been slowly compiling a small novel of letters and post cards that will be posted once I’m paid, on the 15th.

Phone

2005-10-03T19:31:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of the type of phone I got. Mine is actually black. I wanted the green to match my kick ass guitar but in a series of broken English and pointing at pictures the Vodafon clerk informed me that they were all out until Ju Gatsu (November) so I went with black. I mainly use this for messageing other people with Vodafone. but I can play video games on it as well as take pictures. All the sound features can be shut down except the camera. Everyones phone makes a noise when it takes a picture. We all think its because there are so many cameras in this country people have become paranoid. And for good reason, The population of uniformed school girls is thru the roof, and they all fold in the top parts of their skirts makeing them scandalously short. The cameras make a noise so no one can take filthy pictures while walking up stairs.

Gun Pics

2005-10-03T10:54:00.000-07:00

Halloween Costume. Mr Cato?

2005-10-03T10:44:00.000-07:00

I was shopping for Halloween costumes because there is a big Halloween party in Shimizu next week. I heard about it from a guy that was born in Halifax. And was further encouraged to go by a guy from New Brunswick. All at Our Boozer of course. Anyway, its all you can drink for 4000$ yen and there are prizes for best costume so im all about finding the best getup. They don’t celebrate Halloween here, nor do they anywhere in the world other than Canada and the States. When I was asking about it among the other teachers I had to put up with British scoffing and Australian sneers at the “children’s holiday.” So I asked if they have any kind of carnival type event, which of course they do. But I get beside myself. I was out looking for a Halloween costume and discovered what I suppose Japanese consider to be a really scary costume. What do you guys think should I buy this mask and scare the locals?

mountain

2005-10-03T10:34:00.000-07:00

So I got high today…High up on a hill that is. *insert sound effect. I got picture form one of the hills around my place. It still doesn’t show down town Shizuoka but it’s a better picture than the ones of the mean streets of Japan. This is a picture of a warning sign half way up the hill. We aren’t sure what exactly its warning us about but after much discussion my room mate and I could only figure that this hill is reserved for flamboyant well-dressed gentlemen.
I think the top of this hill has been clear cut in the direction of Mt. Fuji for the wintertime money shot. But as I have made clear in the past Mt. Fuji is not visible in the winter. I’ll head back up here later in the year for a nice picture of the mountain. Here are also two pictures of my roommate and I for your enjoyment. He was telling me that his friends back home said that they hate nothing more than a blog filled with pictures of every thing but the person who’s writing it. So Here are some pictures of me for your pleasure.

Some of these are taken with my 3 mega pixel camera on my new cellular phone. I knocked the use of cells before but I think Japan is leaving its mark on me. Its like having msn in my pocket every where I go. I’ll worry later about the potential complications of sterility and the various forms of cancer I’m afraid I might develop with an electronic device playing virtual pocket pool. Anyway. This is the local train. Japan has a train for everything. I can take this train to catch the Prefecture local JR train. And or the Shinkansen; which for the record I’d like to repeat is sweet.

Not a day goes by when I dont ask myself...

2005-09-30T18:54:00.000-07:00

Ok its time to bear all. I’ve been here thirty days and I haven’t made a single friend. I couldn’t figure out why until last night. Why am I not fitting in among the NOVA teachers? I was talking to one of the other Canadians who seems to get along well with most teachers. She was tellng me about her university days back home. And then the bomb was dropped. “Oh you were an ice breaker” I reiterated. Never before have I felt so crestfallen; I’m on the other side of the world hanging with icebreakers. And she knows all the water buffalo songs too. This sucks.

Toys Toys and more .... ah Toys?

2005-09-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Ok. So I got a much needed cash advance on my VISA or BISA as they say in Japanese. I had been eating cupped soup for a few weeks (Kimche is fucking good) and nearing starvation and mal nutrition. I get the 50000 yen in my hand and I head strait to …that’s right… the toy store. Now when I say toy store I don’t mean no run o’the mill Toys R Us. I’m talking the sweetest toys you’ve ever seen. The action figures were cool. The life-sized cardboard cutouts of Cpt. Kirk caught my eye. And the collector packs of original Indiana Jones and Road warrior merch made my heart skip a beat. All of that was before I walked thru the hall of Kitsch. It was like a thousand faux fifties diners were knocked off by 19th century British Game hunters who hold hundreds of ageing grandmothers at elephant gun point for their trinkets and googly eyed cat clocks. My head…popped off. I was really tempted by the flawless James Dean American dollar bill. And as I climbed the spiral stair case I found a room of old dolls. Creepy. Ceiling to floor ceramic nineteen fifty’s doll faces smiled at me with their frozen dead eyes. A sight that I’m sure will haunt my dreams for many’a moon.

So after I went there I hit up another toy/department store. This place has everything. Including Japanese region dvd players for about 50 $ Canadian. There was the obligatory hall of porno, tucked away, safely behind the Halloween costumes. Interestingly, the bb guns were also directly adjacent to the Halloween costumes. These bb guns are the most realistic “toy” guns I’ve ever come across. They were the kind of guns you might see at Canadian tire behind lock and key. Anyway they were wide open at this store. I was able to take one out of the package and brandish it like a pimp. Oh, and they weren’t just hand guns. There were some fully automatic bb assault rifles.

But nothing any store could offer was as good as the third and final “toy” store had in the back. No it wasn’t a sex toy shop (perverts). It looked just like the first place in the front but as a ventured toward the back the number of bb guns multiplied exponentially. There was a bb gatling gun. I started to get a little creeped out. It didn’t look like a toy store at all. There were rifles lining the walls and machine guns under glass. And three forty year old Japanese men in dirty ripped jeans were leaning over the counter laughing gruffly and flipping thru a bb gun magazine. But I figured while I was there I might as well take a look. So I walked up to one of the cases with a big shiny bb revolver inside. As I look directly down the barrel of this “toy” I thought “wait a minute those bullets in the case arnt bbs. They’re not bbs at all” “This bb gun shop is a regular gun shop!” I swear to god. Toys up front, Gundams and a Disney princess’, and guns in the back.

So needless to say I fulfilled all my toy lust at the Circle K around the corner. Oh yeah. Toys comes with everything. Its practically your change.

Cool Quote: I want to share

2005-09-20T07:04:00.000-07:00

“All you organisms disgust me…shooting DNA at each other to reproduce”
-Bender

“If you find it disgusting why are robots so obsessed with Pornography”
-Leela

“Entirely for the perversion”
-Bender

Loudmouth robots are awsome.

fresh air

2005-09-20T05:46:00.000-07:00

Everyone smokes in Japan. There is no social stigma. They smoke in the pubs, the restaurants waiting for trains and at Karaoke to name a few places. There are even smoking booths at work. They have Typhoon proof ashtrays. Serious, all the ashtrays are little tin cups with lids. The reason being in typhoon season shit gets blown around and they want to keep a lid on all the butts and ash. Smokes come in vending machines for 300 yen, at most. But its seems like all of that is going to change. Its been brought to my attention that an anti-smoking campaign is in Japan’s near future.

Japanese Politics

2005-09-19T22:43:00.000-07:00

Tudor has reminded us that Japanese Politics can be a hands-on affair. I’ve taken it upon myself to find a photo that illustrates this trait. There are many such pictures of Japanese political scuffles. This one is of the legislative branch “discussing” the Japanese involvement in Iraq. It was a controversial issue at the time because the Japanese defense force has not set foot on another nation’s soil ever. Not since the Japanese government was forbade owning or operating an army post world war two. It was a hard decision because the defense force is bigger than the Canadian Army. The only thing keeping it from being an offensive force was that they have never entered another country. The rest of the world doesn’t seem to mind.

Guitar

2005-09-19T22:09:00.000-07:00

Money is quite tight until the 15th of next month when my salary comes thru. Fortunately, paydays can mean very little when one has a visa card in their pocket. J Japan is a surprisingly cash oriented society. Debit cards are rarely accepted and Credit is only accepted in the big stores and hotels. So I’m stuck with a cash problem until payday. After weighing the pros and cons of charging a guitar I decided I should…nah I must pick one up. Besides after weeks of phantom guitar pains I needed a quick fix for my jones’n. One of the NOVA teachers showed me the cheapest guitar place and I was able to get a bit of a fix. Say maybe 30 minutes of tinkering. We went to lunch and I felt this flame inside of me surge up. So after lunch I double timed it thru the Shuzuoka underground back to the music shop. And in 20 minutes I was a proud owner of a stunningly green acoustic guitar.

I would have gone a little more Plain Jane if the option were there. But this is a discontinued model with a bit of a markdown. The clerk explained using the word “DisUcount.” “Ah soka” I said. I saved 9000 yen, paying a grand total pf 21000 yen. Cheap. The problem was that they only came in vibrant colours. My choices were green, blue and red. I made my decision and I stick to it. So now I have a guitar, on credit.

On the way home with it I bumped into a guy I saw at the Boozer the night before. He was wearing a tuxedo that night and was planning to vomit all over it and return to the rental office in a filthy stinking ball. We were all quite drunk so after an awkward moment asking each others name again he invited me to go to Sumpu Park for Frisbee. His friend was there with his guitar. This was meant to be. So I was taught a sweet blues riff under the vengeful eyes of Tokugawa Iyasu (featured in an earlier post). We hung out in the park all day. And later watched police academy 2 and ate Pizza. It was a shitty movie.

Anyway as I said we were out drinking the night before. So all day at the park I had been hung over. The only reason I got out of bed was to haul my ass to the guitar store for my sweet axe. Needless to say I was tired after a long hangover day in the hot park. The other employee that took me to the guitar store (Dawn) said she herself was “Hung(over) like ten men.” (indecently Dawn is Canadian and went to school with Moe Ajram {sp?}for those of you who know him). Anywho, We had all been to Karaoke on Sunday night. Karaoke here is a different experience than the Karaoke of Canada. Rather than sing in front of a bar its you and your friends in a small room. And its all you can drink. The goal is not to sing well but to sing really badly. Cheering is for the bad singers. Solemn nods go to good singers. As a part of the group sing-along atmosphere there are tambourines in the room for the unfortunate people that don’t get a mic. Well I went out Sunday, was “Hung,” as they say, all of Monday and on Tuesday morning I decide I’ll open up my backpack for my Japanese books and “What tha !” …looks like I’ll be starting a band with all the instruments I’m accumulating.

Shizuoka City

2005-09-19T21:26:00.000-07:00

So its about time I gave you all a look at Shizuoka. Pronounced “SheeZokh” this is important for me to clarify because part of a regular NOVA lesson is the “Tune In” wherein the sensei speaks like they would back home and the student repast. So they have me slurring and slanging and slobbering all over the English language to attune the Japanese ear to Southern Americans and Australian speech impediments. Ok I make mistakes too. “Kind of” is actually “Kindah”…right? “what do you want’ is actually “wadda ya wan?” you all get the idea.

Anyway, this is Shizuoka. One of the NOVA offices is around the corner. Now that I think about it this is a boring picture. The main street (Gofukacho) is behind the buildings in the background and two streets over. Its pretty cool since the city design is a hold-over from the Edo period (1600). So the main shopping street is very narrow, only one lane for cars. And cars do use it but the street is usually full of people. Sumpu park is in the centre of town, it’s the place that I took the picture of the statue of Iyasu. The park is in the remains his castle. The castle actually burned down years ago but they repaired the southern gate for tourists. So the park is surrounded by a mote with coy inside. It’s huge. And that’s just the inner castle. The outer mote can be seen thru the city around the park area. It’s pretty cool. But I look forward to seeing Osaka castle since this one is a faux remake. Its nice inside I spent all day yesterday hanging out there.

Politics

2005-09-19T20:44:00.001-07:00

As per your request (Greg Smith) I have pilfered a Japanese election poster from a back ally late one night recently. For those of you who don’t know, there was an election last Sunday in Japan. The incumbent Junichiro Koizumi was reelected prime minister. He was very popular when he first became prime minister in 2001. The LDP like most Japanese parties was kind of stiff and traditional but Koizumi with is wavy gray hair and olive oil smile charmed the Japanese people into submission. He’s obviously still popular but some of the businesses don’t like him so much any more. Some of my students bitch about him. He tried to create a short sleeve shirt policy for the work place, nation wide. Some people think it’s a good idea (like me). It was damn hot when I got here and NOVA, like many businesses requires dress clothing. But, other, more traditional owners and managers disagree with the prime minister. The guy is the poster is the local LDP party member, I think.

His eyes are mesmerizing. They just order me to vote for him. The trait all the posters have in common are upraised fists. I guess the Japanese people need an iron clad leader with clenched fists and a swelling bosom upturned to the rising sun.

Yeah, so all last week there were vans full of people on loud speakers driving around waveing at us and telling us how great the Liberal Democratic Party is, among other parties. I just gave them a wink and a gun and they'de smile. Cute young politicians they were.

music

2005-09-16T10:52:00.000-07:00

So I spent the first week asking around about the music scene in Shizuoka. Most responses were muddled and confused. I don’t think anyone wanted to admit there is no music here. The best I could get was from a window salesman’s helper I met at this bar called “the boozed.” Apparently he’s in a band that plays blues funk and he might have a show in the near future at a department store…Needless to say, with the sever drought of live musical acts in Shizuoka I said I’ll be there.

On the plus side I went to Virgin records (upstairs from the GAP) and took a look around. Aand Caloo Calais the “Indies” section is the biggest Gaigin section (next to classic rock of course). Also there is a magazine called Metropolis published every week by and for Gai Jin. Its based out of Tokyo so most of the articles are Tokyo heavy. I picked one up and do you know what I found? Feist is huge here. She is playing Tokyo on the 21st. If I had more money id be there. But I don’t. And as excited as I am that she is big here, I’ve not been in a Fiest mood lately.

mt. fuji is a bust

2005-09-15T13:13:00.000-07:00

Mt. Fuji is a hoax. At least in the summer months. I went to Fuji with the hope of seeing the most honorable Fuji san. Even at the base of the mountain in the town with the same name there was nothing to see. There’s so much smog here it makes me sick. This picture is not of mt. Fuji. It’s the only mountain visible from Fuji in the summer. As you can see there’s a little smog in the shot.

cheap web cam

2005-09-12T06:45:00.000-07:00

So I have a web cam now. Check me out. This pic would be my second album cover. You know the album after the debut when im marketing myself to the teenage girls that like the eccentric weirdo who hides his super niceness behind a weak display of aggression.

2005-09-10T07:10:00.000-07:00

So the extent of my culture shock only goes as far as buying bread. You can only get loaves of bread with 6 slices. Weird!. I guess there are lots of noodles and rice they don’t need another carb on their lunch plate. And its expensive. Bread ranges from 150 – 250 yen. That’s like 25 cents a slice. You can also get 4 slice loaves that are made up of slices so big they would make a Texan blush. The one good thing about Japan (maybe bad) is the price of cigarettes. At about 3$ Canadian for any brand its getting hard to say no. Borelli thinks addiction is funny.

The work place

2005-09-06T16:37:00.000-07:00

After one day of training I see the rumors surrounding NOVA are all true. Shake’n’Bake teaching. I feel like I’m selling love tonic to these poor people who pay 1000 yen per class. You have to be a flim-flam artist to succeed here. Every minute of the lesson is accounted for and since its only 40 minutes you have to cram so much into such a small window. To make things easier they encourage hand motions, joke making and endless smiling. I’m selling happy meal language classes while waving my arms around like a flight attendant.

This happy guy is the nova poster boy and can be purchased in many forms. You can have him as a sticker, purse, plush toy, greeting card, or any style of book or note pad.

Tokugawa

2005-09-04T03:02:00.000-07:00

This is Tokugawa Iaysu, the first shogun of modern Japan. He grew up in Shizuoka and his remains are somewhere in this city, but I’m not sure where yet. He was the person that made edo (Tokyo) the centre of Japan. I post this picture for Stirling.

2005-09-04T02:49:00.000-07:00

Here are some more picture for those of you who keep asking. This is the street I live on in Shizuoka. It’s a quiet neighborhood here. One of my roommates told me that they all know the Gai Jin living here. I assumed this means they all gossip about us.

My entire building is made up of gai jin. There are two NOVA apartments (Canadians, British and Australians) and the rest of the building are Chinese families. We NOVA teachers are at a disadvantage since most of us do not speak Japanese. As a gesture I gave one of the Canadian Tie tacks to the woman at the liquor store on the corner (its under the triangle sign in the picture). Bearing gifts is really important here. I don’t know how to say “I want to be welcome” so I figure a literal token will work just as well. She didn’t know what a maple leaf was but fortunately there was someone else from the neighborhood in the store buying booze to explain. Her only response I could understand was “a’sank you” to which I responded with an “arigato goziimashta” probably as broken to her ears as her response was to mine. Anyway, we’ll see how it pays off in the future.

2005-09-02T23:36:00.000-07:00

There is only one downside I can really see to my apartment …

Dun Dun Daaaaaah!

Im not alone in here. email and ask me what type of trap this if you care to know. But you may want to leave it to your imagination.

Honey Garlic Japanese Style Bedroom

2005-09-02T23:21:00.000-07:00

After some confusion with roommates coming and going my bed room has been settled. It’s quite hot in here because of the distance from the air conditioner, which is way down the hall, but the Japanese style is worth it.

you'll notice the bottle of water in the corner of the picture. Buying water is difficult here. There are many choices that look like refreshing water but only some come with no surprises. There are a lot of clear electrolyte replenishing drinks. Even Gatorade is clear. This flavored water is vile. I’ve learned my lesson now. Unless the bottle says 100% (something in Japanese) I don’t buy it. I’m assuming its 100% water.

Shinkansen

2005-09-02T14:15:00.000-07:00

this was taken while riding the Shinkansen from Osaka to Shizuoka. Japan is really flat between the hills. and its mostly devloped in these areas. the ride was two hours. you go as fast as an airplane and all i could see was devlopment. except on the hills. I havent seen Fuji san yet...too much smog

2005-09-02T13:26:00.000-07:00

My inability to speak Japanese is humbling, and embarrassing. I don’t really need the language to get by since everything has a price on it and there doesn’t seem to be any sales tax confusing the situation, but the people behind the counters will start saying something and I’ll be lost. I just hand over the yen and they smile and bow. Buying a power adapter for the lap top was bad. Fortunately my roommate came along the first time. Stephan speaks pretty good Japanese so he could help me out at first. Unfortunately I picked up the wrong power adapter. I had to go back by myself and explain the situation with a display of broken pantomime. But I got the thing. And some yen back, score.

It was easier in the department store, a woman took one look at me and said “Kingu Size” and took me to the big shirts. I was nice of her. I don’t know why but all the clothing, though covered in English writing, is much hipper here than at home. And casual clothing is cheap.

2005-08-18T11:09:00.000-07:00

Hillside. Lots of music and friends, and licorice (which I think looks rather sharp)

Photos to come

2005-08-17T21:25:00.000-07:00

Heed the warning. The epic struggle is drawing nigh. Pictures to come documenting the upcoming year. I learned the location of my teaching position and feel now is the time to start blogging.